Boy, I was busy. I duplicity REALLY busy. I had a to-do list a mile long. When I did see a potential speck of free time, I made sure that it was filled of activity. I was buzzing from sun up to sun down. Why you ask? Well, because I HAD to avoid something at all costs…my feelings.
Do you treasure the story regarding Alice in Wonderland? There was a character in it called White Rabbit. He spent most of his time running to and fro exclaiming, “I’m late/I’m late/For a very important date./No pace to say Hello, Goodbye./I’m late, I’m late, I’m late. ” Well, I had become the White Rabbit of Minnesota.
Why was I so busy being busy? To be honest, I was so terrified that if I slowed down, still for a second, the pain would overwhelm me. You see, I was muddling through my second divorce. What supposing I let the sadness in and never felt happy again? What if the pity was more than I could bear? What if I discovered I had denial inner reinforce left? What if everybody found out how much I was struggling?
So it became easier, for a while, to keep myself super swamped with things to do. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried this at home but here’s my advice: DON’T DO IT! Can you guess what happened? Are you alongside me? Let me tell you that staying occupied 24/7 takes a lot of energy. When I was alone, it was the hardest. I’d be watching TV while reading a book on the ellipitcal machine. I realize that sounds difficult to do simultaneously still I’m here to tell you ~ it can be done. Pretty soon, I was exhausted.
Then it happened. What I had been running from for the past few months enveloped cr ~ all the hurt ~ all the shame ~ all the unhappiness ~ all the fear ~ all the…RELIEF??? Wait! Nonentity mentioned anything seraphic coming out of this. But it did. Once I let my feelings in, I realized that balanced though it was painful there was a measure of dole to it all. On top of that, I found forth that I HADN’T lost my inner strength. It was right where I left it and more powerful than before. I felt so much better letting the emotions in, dealing with them also eventually waving goodbye to that road and turning down a different one.
Here are a exiguity tips to abet you deal with busy-itis (I’m not a physician and that’s not an actual medical conclusion but you get my drift):
1. Lean into your feelings. I’m not saying dive in. LEAN IN. Accept that they’re there. Notice them. Let them be. I tell my clients that the problem with pain is that no matter how long you outlay trying to avoid it ~ it will perpetually opheffen there waiting ~ so better to deal for it polysyndeton move on.
2. If you want to cry, go ahead and cry. Sometimes, I could feel it coming. I’d think to myself, “Hmmmm. I think I’m going to cry. Yep. I think so.” So I’d have anything from a little squirt regarding tears to an all published ugly cry and then by the time it was over, I’d usually opheffen laughing at myself because I really did have a lot to be grateful for ~ if I thought about it. So what was I crying about?
3. If you start to feel bad, put yourself on a timer. Ten acta is a great place to start. It gets the emotion out but you don’t have enough time to sink into the abyss. That’s the key…no sinking! Once you’ve reached your time limit on having a call to arms or feeling bad, opt your cute butt jump and get on with your life!
Here’s to letting your emotions catch up with you! After all, you’re way too fierce and fabulous to run from ANYTHING!!